Steve the Wolfos
by Twilitassassin13
Summary: Steve the Wolfos craves a Pop-Tart...! With Link and Skull Kid, what will he do to get it! Warning, intentional bad spelling and grammar, please review!
1. Chapter 1

STEVE THE WOLFOS:

QUEST FOR THE GOLDEN POPTART

Summary- Steve, a Wolfos who speaks in third person, wants a Pop-Tart. With Skull Kid and Link by his side, what lengths will he go to get it?! P.S. I don't own Zelda. I have tried. Or Pop-Tarts.

Reminder- Steve speaks in third person and isn't too bright, so all spelling and grammatical errors are INTENTIONAL. ON PURPOSE. NOT BY MISTAKE. Okay, that's all. Enjoy!

I is a Wolfos names Steve*. Me likes sand, sticks, and Pop-Tarts. Oh, and Ruto-sticks, those tasty. Steve is friends with Skull Kid* and Mr. Small-Green-Boy-Who-Tried-To-Kill-Steve-But-Then-Stop*. Skull Kid unders… Underst… Well, S.K. knows Steve's Pop-Tart obsess- obsess- love.

"I'M ON A SUGAR HIGH FAIRY-BOY!" S.K. screams. SGBWTTKSBTS backs away.

"Dude, you're freakin' me out." Steve paw at S.K.

"Pop-Tart!" Steve howls.

"Princess Zelda has some," Mr. SGBWTTKSBTS says.

"HEY HELLO LOOK LISTEN HEY LOOK LISTEN HELLO!" screams Ms. Glowy- Fuzzyball. S.K. puts it into a bottle and buries it. Mr. SGBWTTKSBTS, S.K., and Steve run into Hyrule Castle Town. Scary Lady with Red Eyes* stops Steve and buddies.

"Link, you know you're banned from the castle since…"

FLASHBACK!!!

Mr. SGBWTTKSBTS laugh evilly with Toilet Paper. SLWRE and Dumb Blond who Screams* dangle from a tree. ^^

END THE FLASHBACK!!!

"I've learned to never, _ever_ mix sugar, coffee, candy, and a 27-hour no-sleep period."

"Leave."

"But Steve, S.K., and I wanna Pop-Tart!" Mr. SGBWTTKSBTS whines.

Then SLWRE yells, "Oh, Princess Ruto, will you please come here?"

Steve's eyes widen. "Ruto stick!" Much to Ruto's dis- dis- ann-ann- horror, Steve starts nib-nib- biting Ruto. When finished, Steve looks at SLWRE.

"We will get the Golden Pop-Tart!" Unb-unbek- unknown to the rest, Mr. SGBWTTKSBTS takes Ruto's purdy dress.

*Hyrule Castle Town*

Mr. SGBWTTKSBTS still wears Ruto's dress, then he adds Gerudo mask. Steve wear Goron mask, S.K. wears Skull Mask.

"Imaginative," Mr. SGBWTTKSBTS snorts. "Cross-dress!"

S.K. fire back. "No-face!"

"Zora!"

"Skeleton!"

"Kokiri!"

"Ugly!"

"Yo FACE!"

"Idiot!"

"Yo MAMA!"

"Now, now boys, we must not divide ourselves; for the Academy is overrated and hath nothing to offer us," Steve says with a professor hat and bubble pipe.

"Wow, Steve, that was… _deep_," Mr. SGBWTTKSBTS says in astoundment.

"And intellectual," S.K. adds.

Mrs. Small Green-Blue Zora who Tried to Kill Steve but Then Stop says, "Where did you get that?"

"…Steve like sand. STEVE GET SAND!"

Steve the Goron Wolfos yells. S.S.K., Skullface Skull Kid, stuffs his face with more candy. Or try, rather, and fails. S.S.K., Steve the Goron-Wolfos, and Mrs. SGBZWTTKSBTS run up to SLWRE. "Open the gate," it calls. "The ambassadors are here." Zora-Gerudo wave. "Bye, (insert Japanese word for old lady here) Baa-chan!" (A/N- I REMEBERED, TAKE THAT, SHEIK!) SLWRE walks up to the guard. "Keep an eye on them. I think that's Steve the Wolfos, Skull Kid, and Link. Watch 'em."

* Dumb Blonde Who Screams- Zelda! She always screams if you're hurt in Ganon's Tower escape stage. I really don't like her.

Mr. SGBWTTKSBTS- Link! If you don't know him, get out. I can't stand you. He's the main character of ALL Zelda games.

* Scary Lady With Red Eyes- Impa! Remember, Zelda's bodyguard…? If you don't, exit out NOW and play some Ocarina of Time.


	2. Infiltrationz!

Steve the Wolfos: Quest for the Golden Pop-Tart

Okay, STILL don't own Zelda or Pop-Tarts. Sorry this took so long to get out, I have had absolutely no ideas…Remember- INTENTIONAL MISTAKES.

Steve, Mrs. SGBZWTTKSBTS, and SSK reach the gate. Mrs. SGBZWTTKSBTS looks around.

"It's easier to just be lead around then sneak around…" he say in a remincesy-voice. The guard looks at him/her.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing," Mrs. SGBZWWTKSBTS lie in a Valley girl accent like the Gerudo peoples.

"Pop-Tart?" Steve ask politely, holding out a paw.

"Soon, Miss. And have you ever thought of shaving?"

"What that? Steve must know."

"Ae, pardon me, but are you Steve the Wolfos?"

"Uh… No? Steve is not Steve."

The guard look per-perp- confuzzled.

"Uh, Princess Zelda? There are some freaks he- I mean, the Ambassadors are here," the guard say.

DBWS stands.

"Hello," she say politely, holding out a hand.

Mrs. SBGZWTTSKBTS cringes away, Steve shake hand, and SSK vibrates and spo-spou- say rand-rando- words.

"Oh my Farore… Link?" she asks, looking past mask.

"U-uh, no, Princess. I am just a weird blend of a Zora and a Gerudo…" Mrs. SGBZWTTKSBTS say ala-alar- scared.

"OH MY DIN LINK IT _IS_ YOU!" she scream.

She drag him away as he scream, clawing the floor, as she rip off random clothes.

"Wow." SSK remarks, looking at breakfast table.

"Hey Steve check it out! POPTARTS!"

"WHERE?! STEVE MUST KNOW!!!!!!!" Steve scream.

Steve spot food and stalk it like prey.

The Pop-Tart does not notice. It pre-preoccu- distractered.

Steve stare at the treat in astoundment until he get hungry.

THEN HE RIP IT APART LIKE ZELDA DO-

Steve is sorry. Inap- Nor app- Not right.

Steve gnaw on paw that had blueberry filling on it.

"OH MY GOD FAIRY-BOY!" SSK scream.

"WE FORGOT HIM!"

Steve and SK run to Zelda's room, where Mr. SGBWTTKSBTS is strapped to a wall by belts. DBWS screams at his makeup-painted, dress-wearing self about the des-dest- chaos he cause last time.

"THIS IS THE LAST TIME YOU WALK INTO MY PALACE LIKE YOU OWN IT LINK! IN FACT, GIMME BACK THE ENGAGEMENT RING!"

"…Zelda… We're not engaged…"

"WELL NOW WE ARE!" she shout with maniacal grin, forcing a ring onto his hand.

"HOLY NAYRU! GET ME OUTTA HERE!" he screech.

Steve bravely steps into the line of sight of DBWS.

TO BE CONTINUED…

OMG MY FIRST CLIFFHANGER EVER!

Yea, this'll probably be updated Thursday at the least!

After that, new Steve the Wolfos stories will pop up!

Even one where he meets Tobi of Akatsuki…

DAN DUN DAUNANANNA!


End file.
